Cultivating a Kingdom Family at Home
“OK, everyone! Don’t forget family devotions tonight at 7 PM. Make sure you get your homework done early. No one is allowed to miss.“ A chorus of groans rose in the household. Disgruntled faces surrounded me. I could feel the tension. No one liked family devotions. No one ever looked forward to our attempts to have a corporate ‘quiet time’ with our children. To tell the truth, I didn’t like them either. And for the most part in spite of all my efforts to make them interesting and enjoyable, our family devotions were a disaster. I mean, I tried playing the Omni chord (a musical instrument for the non-musical); I tried Bible trivia games; I tried drama, memorization, artwork, and probably would have used video if they had been available and accessible. What were we to do? We so wanted to create a Kingdom culture in our family. We so wanted each of our five children to know and love Jesus and choose to follow Him their whole lives. Plus, we felt the weight of responsibility as parents to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. How did we cultivate a kingdom culture in our home and family? We tried and failed at many things and in many ways. However, the one lesson we learned I can summarize with one sentence:
“Talk the walk, and walk the talk.”
We not only talked about our faith, but we also walked our faith every day. We not only walked our faith, but we also talked about it, too. Both—walk AND talk. I know, this is not some amazing solution, but it basically boiled down to this: my husband Happy and I first made sure our connection with Jesus and our walk in the Spirit was 100% real, visible, and heard—warts and all. We made it a priority to reflect the life of our King and His Kingdom reign. This meant we regularly modeled a devotional life of Bible reading, prayer, and worship, but also that our home was a home of love, forgiveness (lots of that), discipline, joy, patience, kindness, integrity, and generosity. And yes, we did explicitly and intentionally instruct our children in God’s Word, and we regularly read the Bible, prayed together, worshipped together, fought with one another, and helped one another.
Meals were a major time for most of this. Good food helped create a more enjoyable atmosphere for both serious discussion and silly sharing (Di’s Italian Beef and Hap’s Famous French Toast are still family favorites). Over and over, Jesus modeled meals as a time for instruction, rejoicing, and relationship. Breakfast and dinner were ‘must be there’ (when possible, of course). In addition, our home was open to the neighbors, our table was crowded with random teens, our swimming pool was filled with friends and our couch was crammed with small group folks. This required a heavy, daily dose of the Holy Spirit in all of us. We failed many times to be Kingdom kids, but our loving Father faithfully instructed us and gave us fresh mercy every day.
Did this somewhat haphazard, failure filled, ‘growing in grace’ Kingdom culture bear fruit? Truly, by God’s grace, all five of our children and their spouses today love the Lord, serve him faithfully, and are raising our 18 grandchildren to do the same. Our kitchen table, especially crafted by an Amish woodworker, can seat most of us for holidays, birthdays and celebrations of all kinds. My heart overflows with thanksgiving. So…..Talk the walk and walk the talk—all in the power of the Spirit, and you will cultivate a Kingdom culture in your home. And don’t forget the Italian beef!
Dianne Leman
The Vineyard Church
Urbana, IL