COMING OUT OF HIDING

I’ve always loved the back row. I felt safe there, hidden. School, church, ministry, projects, you name it... and I showed up there and hid in the back row. Like a security blanket that I could take anywhere, I’d just wiggle myself into a proverbial back corner and camp out. If I didn’t try, I couldn’t fail. If I didn’t try, I wouldn’t be noticed, couldn’t garner unwanted attention. But... to my undoing, I fell in love with Jesus. Madly and deeply.

Not long after that, I started having dreams and visions (against my will, if truth be told) about a platform, a stage, a visible position. I began receiving prophetic words over my life about leadership and a microphone.

Shoot.

Because as some of you know, when you are in love, you do all kinds of things you wouldn’t typically do. You lay down your selfish preferences, choosing to die-to-self for the sake of the one you’re with.

And so slowly, slowly, God has been drawing me out of the back corner. It has been daunting, going against my personality and all of my previously held ideas of a good time. But, the thing is, to avoid it, I'd have to say no to him. He is my weakness... my love. I never want to say “no” no matter how much I want to say “no” ...if that makes sense. Because when He invites me to follow him, I am undone. But saying “yes” comes with its own set of fears.

What if I fail? But equally as threatening, what if I succeed? I can’t hide if I succeed. What if people want too much from me? What if I’m not enough?

Turns out, I don’t have to be enough. Jesus didn’t even have to be enough. He needed His connection with His Father just like I do. He could do nothing apart from Him, just like me. Best news I’ve heard all day.

And so tentatively at first, and now only a bit less wobbly at the knees, I’m following Him out of hiding and into public ministry and leadership. Into authenticity and out of self-protection. He is teaching me to hide in Him always and never from Him.

He calls us all to die, and make no mistake, it often feels like death. But then, I’m discovering, He resurrects a truer, more authentic, healed version of ourselves that we never knew was there. In those moments, He shows me who I am.

Melissa Peters

Crossway Vineyard Church

Urbana OH